Bad Blood

I've already accepted the fact that I am completely insane but sometimes I really do manage to surprise myself. For some wildly fantastical reason, I allowed myself to get sucked into the magical marketing world of Groupon.com which, for most rational-minded people, is a great website to find very good vacation and getaway deals.

Myself, on the other hand, I chose to buy myself a full health surveillance which includes an analysis of over 30 different types of blood values. So while the average joe goes on the aforementioned website and buys himself a lovely weekend getaway inclusive of flights, accommodation and breakfast - I thought I would "treat" myself with:

Health check with the analysis of over 30 different blood values:

• Documentation of medical and health history, health survey

• Analysis of survey and test results by a physician

• Blood sampling - choose from 60 different clinics

• Written results mailed to you after about 3 weeks

• Recommendation on any appropriate measures

• Any disease is referred to a doctor

 

Admittedly I did pick up the deal for a fantastic price but I still cannot  for the life of me figure out how I managed to justify this purchase.
This may come as a complete surprise, but I have been know to be quite the hypochodriac at the best of times; just the other day when I had a sore leg I convinced myself that I had bone marrow cancer. Now I'm going to a fucking clinic so they can tell me I am riddled with cancerous little tumours and I've got three months to live.

 

That, plus I fucking HATE needles. How much blood are they going to need to examine thirty different blood values? How many needles are they going to stick in me. What else will they "examine" and how uncomfortable will it be?

 I think Kurt Cobain summarized my current disposition quite nicely, "I hate myself and I want to die."