Meat in the sandwich

When I was younger, I was always torn over the idea of marriage. On one hand I thought it was something I wanted to (or at least, should) do, but on the other hand I was frightened of the prospect of "locking myself in" with someone for such a long period of time, a.k.a. the rest of my life.

To this day, I am more or less of the same stance however I can and do appreciate people who are willing to make the commitment. Perhaps it is even with some kind of envious admiration that I can respect other people's sense of absolute devotion and willingness to be together forever, and ever, and ever.

And despite the ceaseless cries of protest from my family, I am still unwed and without-child and quite frankly, I'm feelin' pretty fucking good about it. According to my family, marriage = security and I understand that they only want what's best for me, and in their eyes, how could I possibly expect any stability in my life without a husband by my side? Unfortunately they will never accept my answer in that I think their views are just a tad too old-school for my liking and current life-preferences, and let's just say they wouldn't ever acknowledge or even manage to fathom my thoughts on sexuality. As far as I'm concerned, weddings are impractical and expensive - and more than anything I'd have to be the center of attention for an entire day and pose for photo's - two of my least favourite activities.

Yet here I find myself today: in a monogamous relationship with the best man in the world, but also betrothed to my best friend. Much to no one's surprise, I may have been called a complete weirdo once or twice before so I am very fortunate to have someone in my life who is (apparently) equally as strange. Kx and I understand each other on a rather complex yet deeply intimate level - without meaning to sound too pretentious, it's as if we have transcended a friendship, even a "best friend"-ship and exist within our own bubble. While we are very much unique to each other, live on separate continents and differ in many ways, we share thoughts at a sometimes freakish level, we have words that are only decipherable to us and just in general we share a sense of profound love and understanding that I believe comes very rarely to people.

Last year when I was in Australia, Kx had convinced me to do a photo-shoot with her. While I was incredibly hesitant and reserved at the idea to begin with, she convinced me to do it because she wanted to have a framed picture of us in her home - something to commemorate our relationship and reflect upon whenever she missed me. So a photo-shoot we did, and after looking at the pictures today I find they really do capture our love for each other and that agreeing to do the shoot was indeed a good idea.

Now if I am considered to be an oddball then chances are that one of the few people on the planet who actually "gets me" is going to be just as obscure. So for me, when Kx told me she wanted to take my surname a few months ago, my mind didn't even skip a beat in processing the idea and I became very excited at the prospect of it. In the past, we have had various discussions about actually marrying each other, however the administration and overall nuisance of long-term legal issues was enough to put us off despite the fact we still had strong desires to celebrate our relationship in some way.

Naturally our respective partners think we are both absolute idiots, which is of course their opinion to have; but when you find that special someone in your life with whom there are no boundaries & no limits, sometimes it just makes absolute sense that you want to commemorate your unity in some manner. We are now in the process of having her surname changed to mine and perhaps one day we will have our own private celebration. Here's to you, preciousss. x