I remember my grandfather once telling me that my great, great, great...something grandmother was once one of Napoleon's many one-night lovers. Whether or not this is true, or if it's just to tell a story I am not sure - nor do I think I will ever know, but the idea of it got me thinking about my genes and historical background.
If, and I pray to the lords above and below that this not be the case, my groupie great-grandmother happened to have been knocked up by the dwarf - would that make me a descendant of Napoleon? Or worse, does this mean I have - gasp - French blood in me? Though my grandfather swears that my great-granny did not get pregnant until she met the man she married (my great grandfather, obviously), this doesn't necessarily mean that actually happened! Who knows what lies and scandal have been swept 'neath the carpets of time?
I much rather hearing the story of how I was named after my great-great Grandmother, or my Grandfathers grandmother, who was a grand harpist in the courts of Vienna. That's a far more dignifying and respectable tale to tell than the slightly more...controversial one.
Anyway, since I've been thinking that I could essentially be the by-product of a one-night tumble between the sheets shared by a woman and a dwarf - I've decided to do what's right and settle the score once and for all: in fact, I'm going to spit in a cup and send it to scientists to do it for me.
The service is called '23andMe' and it's basically a DNA testing service for people interested in their DNA. After ordering the 'Personal Genome Service', I will have access to information about my ancestral lineage (dating as far back to the dawn of humanity!), the global origins of my ancestors, potentially finding long-lost cousins and also a full health examination which will provide an indication of what health issues and diseases my DNA is predisposed to.
Will I post the results on my blog? I'm not sure. I don't know what the hell to expect, but I can bet it will be intriguing nonetheless. Being the paranoid freak that I am, I'm not sure how comfortable I am with sending my DNA off to some lab in America to be examined by strangers. Because, you know, the conspiracy is out to get you man. Fraud and identity theft and all that.
On a side note, my current Grandmother - the influence for who I am today - is the love of my life and if I could buy a castle, I would give her a bedroom with a view of the moat.
If, and I pray to the lords above and below that this not be the case, my groupie great-grandmother happened to have been knocked up by the dwarf - would that make me a descendant of Napoleon? Or worse, does this mean I have - gasp - French blood in me? Though my grandfather swears that my great-granny did not get pregnant until she met the man she married (my great grandfather, obviously), this doesn't necessarily mean that actually happened! Who knows what lies and scandal have been swept 'neath the carpets of time?
I much rather hearing the story of how I was named after my great-great Grandmother, or my Grandfathers grandmother, who was a grand harpist in the courts of Vienna. That's a far more dignifying and respectable tale to tell than the slightly more...controversial one.Anyway, since I've been thinking that I could essentially be the by-product of a one-night tumble between the sheets shared by a woman and a dwarf - I've decided to do what's right and settle the score once and for all: in fact, I'm going to spit in a cup and send it to scientists to do it for me.
The service is called '23andMe' and it's basically a DNA testing service for people interested in their DNA. After ordering the 'Personal Genome Service', I will have access to information about my ancestral lineage (dating as far back to the dawn of humanity!), the global origins of my ancestors, potentially finding long-lost cousins and also a full health examination which will provide an indication of what health issues and diseases my DNA is predisposed to.
Will I post the results on my blog? I'm not sure. I don't know what the hell to expect, but I can bet it will be intriguing nonetheless. Being the paranoid freak that I am, I'm not sure how comfortable I am with sending my DNA off to some lab in America to be examined by strangers. Because, you know, the conspiracy is out to get you man. Fraud and identity theft and all that.
On a side note, my current Grandmother - the influence for who I am today - is the love of my life and if I could buy a castle, I would give her a bedroom with a view of the moat.
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