You have an amazing infrastructure system - people start looking at their watches and sighing in disbelief if the train is one minute late and even if you do miss it, another train will come in eight minutes.
You have some exceptionally well presented and attractive people - I can't help but feel like dorkus molorkus in comparison to these stylish and beautiful Swedish women who dress up to look as if they are dressing down in such an intricate manner I can't help but admire it (see: staring like a creep). Trendy shaved headed haircuts, intensely perfected make-up, accessories distributed flawlessly but not over-zealously; even the men present themselves with a sense of style and appearance.
Your citizens posses a sense of dedication and determination that is truly unparalleled to any other nationality (with the exception of Nazi Germany), for in times where the average Australian would just say, "Eh, fuck it" the Swede doth soldier on and actually does what needs to be done.
Fresh fruit and vegetables however, you have not. Nearly every time I pay a visit to the grocery store I lament the fact that I am about to purchase sub standard quality produce and this isn't just me being the whingeing Aussie, this is a fact I have verified with my Greek and Iranian counterparts.
Your tomatoes (which come from Holland) have absolutely no flavour, your oranges (which come from Spain) seem completely devoid of any vitamin C and your native apples are always soft and never crisp.
Why? Why must I be burdened with this displeasure? Surely you are aware that my primary source of happiness derives from the way I treat my taste buds
...and you give me this?
Please take some tips from Australia or point me to the nearest farmers market asap.
Yours in immigration,
Emil E Wroth
Blergh that's one thing Australia shits all over in Europe.. fruit and veg.
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